What i had done in the pass and now only i know it

6/12
Today i realise somethings that i should realise it in 9 month early.So tHen i was thinking why it took me so long to realise it?Because i was hating her for so long and i never think about how she feel.What a selfish guy i'm.When i realise how she feel when i leave her those pain is really pain.I felt very sorry for what i had done and what i had cost.I really hope that she will hate me or slap me.When i started to realise what i really want and what i really need and those pain that cost to her i feel like what an idiot i'm and why i just keep on making stupid mistake and why i never look further?why?why?why?why i can so angry till dint care about her?why?why?why?i'm really sorry for what i had done and i dont know what i can do to make up to you.i'm really sorry.While i'm realising this my tears start to fall.After that my tears just dont know why will suddenly fall.At that night i drove to her house n sit at there just like when i was chasing her that time.sitting at outside and wondering what she's doing and hoping that something will happen.

7/12
Today i'm feeling much from yesterday,because she ask me to eat supper with her.When i meet her and hear her voice and saw her smile i feel like no more sadness.While she was eating i just keep on looking at her because i miss her face so much.When she finish eat she borrow my phone and i borrow her phone to record her.And now everytime i look at that video it's make me feel happy.Then after awhilei send her back to home.Before reach her home i ask her can wait for a bit longer to send her back home?She say ok.Then i stop the car at the side of the road and i hug her n i feel like dont wanted to let go of her forever.Then after awhile she start to push me away and she say its getting late she needs to get back home if not mom will scold.But i dint send her back because i dont wanted to let her go.Then she told me is i dont want her nt she dont want me.Then i sit at there and listen to what she say and i'm thinking what kind of a person i'm again.i'm really is a jerk.No more worst then a jerk.Then she say when she finish play with those boys and i keep fit success and if i still in love with her then only she see how its going to be.When i hear what she say i feel that one day me and her will betogether again and i'm going to spend the rest of my life with her.Then she ask me to send her back home.

8/12
Today is Hari Raya,so i also getting lazy and took a day off and stay at home when i wake up i do 20 push up then i went downstair to look for some food for my breakfast.When i reach downstair my mom is sitting at the dinner table and asking me since when you become a malay?Then i reply her with a SMILE :-) and just walk away lolz.After i had my breakfast i go check friendster and my email.After checking iti do another 20 push up.Then my mom ask me to help her to do some account because she few month dint do.Then i was surounded with numbers n bills.ARG~ so confusing.Then at the night i when to her house at 10.30 and i walk around her house for 4 round for excercise.After i walk 4 round that time is 11.06 then i went back in my car and wait for her to come back home so that i can see her.Eventhought i sit fromvery far bt i still happy by just seeing her.Then i started to wait.I wait until 12.04 then i phone her up and ask "Where are you" "Almost reach home"she answer.Then she tell me can you please dont sit in front of my house because it feel very horrifying.Then from what she say my memories start to run back to the back i chase her.Every night i go sit in front of her house just to see her and she say that i'mvery sweet but now she say that i'm horrifying her.Then i know she dont love me anymore.So i went back home and online to find someone to chat with me.Then i found someone who treat me very gud(maybe to others also so gud).Then she console me.

9/12
Today i wake up in the morning and i already realise that i dont have to be sad for anything because everything also pass already.Happy again. ^.^